Letters to Hope

I have had a very nice week so far. Today I went to the doctor and your heartbeat is very strong and obvious. You sound very healthy. You have been moving around A LOT and I am getting bigger and bigger by the day.

Your dad’s mother is in town. I think she will want to be called Mema. She is a wonderful person and we get a long great. She has helped me out so much this week.

We finally got a lot of things in the house organized, which makes me feel a lot better. I hate clutter and it makes me uncomfortable to be in my own house when it is cluttered. So we where organizing crazy woman. It was nice to have some help around the house. Actually she did most of the work I just kind of pointed and nodded. LOL

I’m Feeling Very Pregnant

It is getting super hard for me to bend over without wanting to throw up. Ha. You are getting so big. The doctor today told me that I could get another ultra sound to see what you are. I am going to call him and see if the insurance will pay for it. If so I am going to schedule another ultra sound. We are getting closer and closer to the due date and I am just dying to know. Again not that it really matters. I would just like to start calling you by your name and talking to you more. It is weird to think that everything I say you can hear.

YOU Will Always be in My Life

It makes me feel special knowing that you will always be in my life. No matter what I always want you to be able to talk to your father and me about everything and anything. You will soon learn that I am not a judgmental person. Or at least I really try not to be and I would try my very best to be not judgmental toward you or anything you choose. (As long as you are not hurting yourself or others.)

I am reading a lot about how to raise you and how to not make the mistakes my mother and father made. Not to say that they where not wonderful parents — they are wonderful parents — I just want to do better. I want to give you a very comforting support system and hope that you do not hate me too much when you are a teenager.

My Teenage Years

The teenage years are going to be a crazy time. I remember all the things about being a teenager. How hard life seemed and how many choices I had and now confused I was. It is definitely scary. I think mainly because you are on the verge of becoming an adult but not there yet and very confused. I hope this time is not hard for you.

Please always remember that I love you and would never do anything to intentionally harm you and when I say no and you want me to say yes it is not because I am being mean or hurtful it is often because I did the same thing and there was no positive benefit.

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