Letters to Hope

You are here! You are here! YEAH!

Finally!

Well, actually, you have been here for a little over three months now and I am the happiest mommy in the whole entire world. I can not believe what a joy you bring to my life. I can not believe how perfect you are and how much my heart has grown since you have arrived. I am so elated with happiness it bursts out of me at times and I think I am going to explode with love for you, Miss Hope.

Well now that I am able to (you are a lot of work and it is hard to spend time alone when I want to spend all my time with you) Let me tell you about the day you where born.

Hope: The Story of Your Birth

It happened on 03/29/05 at about 9:30 in the morning. I was already at work and was on the phone I felt a little trickle of something and then I went to the bathroom. This stuff just kept coming out and it would not stop but it was not pee.

I freaked out I called out to the guys in the office and then I called the doctor. He was not there for some odd crazy reason. They opened at 9:00 why was no one there. I was very nervous and freaked out. I then called your dad who RUSHED right over. I did not know what the big deal was. I was sure I could drive myself home but everyone told me NO WAY. So he drove me home I finally got a hold of the people at the doctor’s office and they wanted us to drive to Wellington. For some odd reason the traffic that day was terrible it took us forever just to get home. We where not about to drive to Wellington so a doctor I did not know could see if I was in labor.

I was frantically packing more stuff — I am not sure why but I felt I needed more stuff — we both decided to just go to the hospital and if they sent us home that was fine.

In Labor and Oozing — Your Daddy Needs McDonalds

But first your dad was hungry so we went to McDonalds. HA! At a time like this he is hungry. I was not in any pain at this point I was just leaking a lot. After we went to McDonalds we drove to the hospital.

I said ‘can you believe it we are going to come back home with a baby, that is going to be crazy’. We were both very very excited.

We get to the hospital and Joseph can not find a parking spot we drive around and around and then he drops me off and looks again. Finally he just parks illegally and decides to move the car later.

Sprung a Leak But Water Not Yet Broken

We go to the room and a nurse checks me and says nope, my water did not break. She was nervous that maybe I was leaking something else so I needed x-rays. We were, at this point, thinking that we where going to go home and that it was a false alarm.

It’s A GIRL! We Don’t Have a Girl’s Name Picked Out!

We went down and got the x-rays and the technician said it looks like we are having a girl. Up to this point I REALLY thought we where having a boy we had not even really talked much about having a girl. All I knew was that Joseph did not really like the name Bianca any more.

Now we had something to talk about while waiting. They made us walk around and around in the hospital over and over again, we where laughing and chatting everyone said “that girl is defiantly NOT in labor yet”. After a while they told me to lie in bed so that they could put a monitor on me. So far, not a lot of progress.

No Pain, No Baby; Bored, Bored, Bored

I still was not in pain and getting bored of sitting in bed.

It was about 1:00 pm and we had not called anyone because we thought we where going home. I got a couple shots for them to take my blood. Then, all of a sudden, the woman checked me and my water broke. About an hour later, I started getting uncomfortable. It was a weird feeling. They told me nope I am not going home I am going to have a baby today. We were so excited.

Phone Tree Activated

We started calling people. We called my mom and we called Mary and we called Joseph’s mom now known as CheeChee, Gamma, and Mema, respectively. Mary was the first to arrive.

The nurses made me lay in crazy positions and kept checking in on me.

Elizabeth (Mema) was looking for flights to Florida and Ximena (CheeChee) was getting ready to leave work.

Uncomfortable and Bored

They kept checking on me and nothing was happening. I was getting more and more uncomfortable. Your dad was getting more and more bored.

People started coming by but I was starting to become more and more restless. I just could not get comfortable. Your Auntie Samantha came by also but no one could help me. It was starting to get painful. Plus, I was getting really hungry.

You were turned sideways and where trying to come out that way. Every time I would almost get comfortable you would move around. They kept putting me in strange positions, trying to get you to turn around. You where dancing in there just all happy and not wanting to move down.

16 Hours Later and Still No Hope

When the pain became unbearable, I asked for an epidural.

Oh yeah, did I mention that at this time it was 1:00 AM and I was so tired and I had not even started pushing yet?

Once I got the epidural I felt a little better but not much.

I kept watching your little heart on the screen and they kept trying to put this electric thing on your head to get your heart beat but you kept moving and it would fall out. They tried 3 times and finally just gave up. It was starting to get painful again and I had a MAJOR urge to push but they kept telling me NO NO don’t push. It was soo hard for me not to.

Heart Rate Dropping — C-Section?

By this time your heart rate was starting to drop and they told me I was going to have a C-Section.

I FREAKED OUT.

I was crying and screaming and did not know WHY and I was just so shocked.

After almost 18 hours, why was I going to have major surgery? I told them I would try harder that I could do it. I was NOT prepared for a C-Section. I did not read up on that I was so scared.

The doctor and nurses reassured me that everything would be ok. Joseph helped me a lot he told me everything would be fine and not to worry.

They pumped me full of drugs and wheeled me into the room. It was 4:30 in the morning and at 4:42 you where born.

4:42 AM — 8 Pounds, 7 Ounces, 19 Inches

Eight pounds, seven ounces and 19 inches long.

Your dad was so happy and surprised to see you. I saw you for a quick second and then they took you away.

Joseph went with them and watched over you as they performed there little tests. Everyone gathered around and looked at how beautiful you where. They could not believe you where finally here.

Boy were you going to be smothered with love and affection. I did not get to see you for about an hour afterwards because they still had to sew me up. Once they wheeled me out of the room, they brought you to me all cleaned up and beautiful.

I’m So in Love With You, Hope

I could not believe I was holding you. I fell so much in love with you that I felt as if I was going to burst.

You took to my breast within seconds which I was not prepared for. It was shocking at how fast it was, and we just lay there as Daddy took tons of pictures of us.

We were wheeled into the room and the rest is a little hazy both from the exhaustion of the day and night and the excitement of having you in my arms. I can not express the amount of love that I feel for you. Just being away from you for a few hours is enough to drive me insane. I love you more then words could ever describe more then I ever thought humanly possible. I am so happy you are in my life.

Two Days in the Hospital and Then Home

After you where born, we spent another two days in the hospital because I had to get a little better before taking you home.

We had A LOT of visitors, family and friends. You received lots of gifts from all over.

It was so nice to snuggle up with you and have you love me so much.

You were a good baby from the start. You were so calm and so loving and did not cry that much at all. I remember hearing people tell me about how much you would cry and you really didn’t.

How to Burp? Ask Daddy.

A couple of times we both could not figure out how to burp you. I think you did not know how to burp and I did not know how to burp you. I got a little better as you got older but I still never really did it correctly. You figured out that mom was a slacker when it came to that and I guess compensated and burped on your own.

Dad was able to burp you with no problems at all. He is a lot better at a lot of things then I am, but then again I am better at some things then he is too. Good thing we have each other.

On Our Own Now

When we finally took you home, Ximena stayed with me for two weeks which really helped me out. You were no trouble at all but I needed help getting up the stairs and I was not allowed to drive or carry you. I hated needing so much help.

Your First Doctor’s Visit

Your first doctor’s visit was very scary for me. You where crying more then you had ever cried and I was crying watching you cry. It was very emotional but by the 3rd visit I was much better.

Well, at least until you got your two month shots: then it was terrible. You did not cry at all but I did the whole time. I don’t think you even noticed but I was a nervous wreck.

Princess Pees and Poops a Lot

We very quickly fell into an easy routine of eating and sleeping and burping and peeing. At first I was very nervous because you did not poop for a LONG time. Like, five days. I called the doctor and was freaking out but then all of a sudden WOW you became “princes pees and poops a lot”.

You slept a lot in the beginning but as you are growing now you are becoming much more active.