Letters to Hope

So we got back from a long trip to NY to see all your family and it was a very wonderful relaxing visit.  You grew up a lot in that two weeks and are talking all the time now, although you have rapidly digressed from potty training.  This makes me a little nervous but I am sure you will get back into your normal routine again soon.

You loved seeing Mema and since this was the most amount of time you spent with her she loved every minute of it.  We both did a lot.  We went to the Jersey Shore and you played in the freezing cold water.  You walked on the board walk and we played lots of games.  Every where you went you made your own little friends and you slept in the car because of all the hills and bumpy roads.  You played with your cousins and you stayed up late every night and hardly ever took naps.  It was a real vacation because no real rules applied and people spoiled you with gifts and sugar and kisses and bubbles.

We went to the Zoo and to an amusement park.  We rode on rides and ate a lot.  You received more clothes and gifts then Christmas time and you laughed a lot.  You kept saying … “and sometimes….. their’s FISH” we have no idea what that was but you where cracking everyone up including yourself.  Mema or Mommy slept with you every night so now getting back you are somewhat happy to have your own space and also somewhat upset.  Naps are hard to get back into the habit of but you are not cranky when you have them so we are still applying them.  You had a great time and I took lots of pictures and video of you.  It was a nice relaxing vacation for the both of us.  But now back to reality and back to every day life.

We went to the beach the first weekend that we got back and it was a lot of fun.  One day you and I went with Samantha and a lot of her friends we had a great time and then the next day we went with your dad.  You and he had a great time and I got to do some more relaxing.

Your father is starting to realize that we are not getting back together and he is starting to hurt.  I am sorry if this is stressing you out too much.  You keep telling me you are scared and I think it is because you are feeding off of my emotions.  I am going to try and curb them and explain to him that this has nothing to do with you so we need to keep is separate from you since you are too young to understand it fully.   I am trying to make it as easy as possible for both of us but your father does not see this.  I hope he comes to his senses.