Letters to Hope

I can tell you this now that we are safe from the accident.

Disappointed in Daddy’s Behavior

I have to express my feelings toward your father at this moment. I have to tell you how disappointed I am in his behavior, how I don’t understand it and how hurt I feel.

I, of course, was freaked out over the car accident. I was freaked out that we messed up and I knew it would be expensive to fix. I was also just in shock that it happened. We could have been killed and that your father was very distant.

I called him freaking out and he drove from Boynton to Fort Drum to pick us up. He had been working at the club and was so worried about getting back that he hardly spoke to me. I think he was pissed about the car and pissed that he had to leave work. We ended up getting home close to 1:30AM. He told me he had to go back to the club.

I Begged Him to Stay With Us

The club closes at 2:00AM and he would not even make it back in time to do anything. He said NO and left me SOBBING, freaking out, hysterically crying. I BEGGED HIM to stay with us. I was in shock and clinging to you so hard I thought you might break but he left anyway.

I called him several times but he never answered his phone. He stayed out until 5AM and then when he came home did not come upstairs to see me. I was stressed out and had hardly slept.

How Could He Be So Needlessly Cruel?

Why would he do that what needed to be tended to that he would leave his wife and child in stress? What type of boss would not understand that he is taking the night of to be with his family because they were in a car accident?

I don’t understand his thinking.

I always joked about this but now I see it might just be true. Thank God you were born on a week day or he would have never been there. I know that is so mean to say and I should take it back but I just think, at this point in your fathers life, he is a little mixed up in what is important.

Like me, he still has a lot of growing to do.