The other day you fell and cut your eye brow. You needed stitches and Dr. Jason gave them to you.  You where very brave and although you were screaming your little head off it was only for a short time and then it was over.  You got two stitches and then 6 days later they took them out and although you screamed again like a crazy woman you were still brave and it only took a second.  You now have a little scar on your eyebrow.  We are going to work on putting Vitamin E oil on it and hopefully it will not be a scar for long.

You were helping me water the plants outside and tripped on the rug and hit the table that is outside. Daddy picked you up and there was blood and you where crying but not too bad I had to hold you the whole time… Daddy was very scared and nervous but thank goodness I was calm and we got you to the hospital with no real issue. Of course once everything calmed down and we all knew you where ok then I freaked out a little but was calm while it was happening. Your poor eye swelled totally shut and it was all black and blue but less then a week went by and it was completely heeled.  I meant to take a picture of you with your first “real” booboo but kept forgetting and it cleared up so fast.

You have totally reverted backwards with the potty training and it is like starting from scratch.  You are so used to the pull-ups you ask me for them now.  It is not good but I am hoping you will be potty trained soon.

I am making preparations for us to move into the townhouse.  Your dad and I have agreed that he will take Camellia Street and you and I will move to Via Jardin.  It is a much smaller house but perfect for the two of us.  You will of course still have your beautiful room here with him and will have the large backyard to play in and the house will be pretty much the same except we are taking some of the furniture but I think it will be fine.  You will be starting school in January (maybe) and Daddy will pick you up after school on Monday and Tuesday and on Wednesday and Thursday you will stay at school until I get out of work and on Friday I will pick you up early.  I think it will work out great. I have started thinking of how to re-do the townhouse so we both like it. You will like it there we will have a pool very close by and a playground and I am sure lots of little kids to play with.  Eventually I hope to move to Jupiter and buy a bigger house for the both of us but for now this will work out well.  You will be close to dad and the bills will be cheaper for me.  I will miss this house… we put a lot of work into it and I poured a lot of feeling into it. It is almost exactly how I want it and I wanted to stay in this house until you had moved out and gone to college, but it is just too big for just you and I.  We will be fine though J I am not worried.

Daddy and I have been getting along a lot better lately and I think (hopefully) we will become good friends and you will never see that we had ever been upset with each other.  It is a choice I really hope that he makes along with me.

You are talking so much and now are starting to really talk back to me in a negative and a positive way. You have also become crazy clingy to me and tell me often that you are scared of things… like Hippo’s, snakes, and other random things.  I think this is your imagination kicking in and not realizing what is real and what is not.  There is no reason to be scared precious child I will always protect you.

I think that the shift in relationships (applying to your father and I) was just in the knick of time.  I think that if I would have waited another year you would have picked up A LOT of really bad habits that I am just scarsley avoiding.  It is getting easier for me and I am starting to get in the grove of being a single mom.  Not that I am out of the woods emotionally and not that my heart does not hurt most times when I look at him but I think I am becoming stronger and seeing the benefits of my choices, which drives me on and to not look back so much.

My birthday was very hard for me…. it always is….. I have a habit of reflecting on my life on my birthday and always looking at the negative.  Something I very rarely do and I guess I just save it all up for that one day when I am a crazy crying stress ball… I have been going to the movies alone a lot …. I do this often but now I am doing it more then normal, maybe this is my way of escaping reality for a little while…. At least it is better then drinking.

You don’t seem to notice because you are so rapped up in finding out about everything. “what’s that…. And that …. And that …. And that” is most of the conversations that we have on a daily basis. Your imagination is also starting to come alive and you are starting to be a little scared of things.  Which is weird but I am assuming very healthy.

Tonight you told me about the shadows being scary and on 4^th of July you where VERY scared, you clung to me like a spider monkey saying NO MORE FIREWORKS and I even showed them to you to show you that it was just noise and light (which normally when I show you something you are no longer scared of it) but that night you where terrified.  It broke my heart to see you shaking so much… and of course you slept in my bed…. I HAVE TO stop letting you sleep in my bed neither one of us sleeps good when you do and I wake up grumpy.  It is just hard to resist your little cries in the night “mama’s bed mama’s bed up up mama’s bed” I just give in too easy.  Which makes me wonder how I am going to do when disciplining you as you get older.  Will I be able to handle it ? I hope so.

You are almost officially out of diapers. I still put them on you when you go to bed but you have been doing VERY well with not peeing in your pretty panties and you tell us when you have to go to the potty.  You are so cute you look and say uh oh pee pee and then RUN to the bathroom.  I think you have only had like 2 accidents and in the morning you have been dry even in your diaper.  When I go out for LONG trips I still put the diaper on you but then as soon as we get home I take it off again.

You are growing up so fast and becoming quite the little woman.  You have started this slapping thing that is driving me crazy.  You keep hitting me when you get mad and I just can’t have that.  I have no idea where you picked it up from but it is not very nice and hope I can find a way to correct you without hitting you back.  Since that is what my mom used to do I am out of ideas.  We do have this one thing that works though and I think it is kind of funny.  I ask you if you want to go to your room and you always say no and stop what ever it is that you are doing.  I don’t know what is going to happen if you ever say YES but for now it is working.

Your father and I are still on the outs, but you guys seem to not notice and you spend a lot of time together.  I hope that everything can stay this way and that no one will become resentful or bitter.  It is good that you hardly notice that he is not here; I think if you did notice it would be very hard on me.

I love that you snuggle with me and now you are really getting the cutest little sense of humor.  You sing all the time now and are sooo smart.  Your memory is great and you remember things from 8 or more months ago, which is amazing to me.  You’re just simply wonderful. And I am sooo proud of you for the potty training, man that makes life easier :)

Yesterday You decided that you wanted to go for a walk, so you got your shoes on and lead me and daddy to the door. (Daddy visit’s you every day)  You wanted to go for a walk NOW.  Daddy  was not feeling well and the walk was short.  He left and then you decided the walk was not over so you started walking down the street on your own.

I followed you and we walked for awhile. The ice-cream man was coming down the street and normally I ignore him and tell you that the ice-cream man went bye-bye.  But today I thought why not let you have some ice-cream so I told you that we had to go back and get money. You kept saying “Ice-cream man coming ice-cream man coming need money need money”.  So you started to run because I said we have to hurry.

Well you fell and scraped your knee.  And OH MY GOODNESS you talked about that boo-boo for hours. We went back we got the money and we got the ice-cream but you kept talking about your boo-boo you cried while eating the ice-cream you cried while eating your dinner you cried in the shower you cried while watching, yet again, pictures-of-Allana.  You just kept telling me about the boo-boo.  And how you hurt your leg and where screaming no band-aid no band-air.  I was hardly able to clean the cut because you where crying so much.  And for a couple minutes you would forget about it and then lift up your skirt as if to see if it was there and then start to cry again. So dramatic so sad so determined to let me know you had a boo-boo.  Too funny and heart breaking all at the same time.

And then in the middle of the night you came into bed with me and even in your sleep you said ouch boo-boo and then whimpered ice-cream man as if he had inflicted the pain on you himself.

I wonder if now you will relate the ice-cream man to pain.  Hey that would not be such a bad thing.

Jupiter Montessori School

She told me about a Montessori school and I am going to do some research on it to see what it is all about.  The way she described it, it sounds just like something I would want you to be in.

Her house was beautiful and it sounded like she has a great relationship with her husband and kids. She was very into the school and her family.  It is amazing how much you can learn from people and how much they really open up when you smile and let them talk.

Your birthday was a GREAT hit and everything turned out wonderfully. Besides the fact that the night before the party you where filled up with sugar and UP until 2 AM running around like a wild woman, which of course stressed me out like crazy because I thought you where going to be super cranky and mean. But you weren’t you where a perfect angel.

We picked up the balloons and the cake and all the stuff for the party and Gamma and Mema watched you while Chee Chee and I went to the park to set up.

The clown arrived just in time and shortly after you showed up with your Elmo shirt on and a big smile. At first you where wondering what as going on and the clown freaked you out a little but very quickly you got into it and where dancing around like a wild woman. You loved the clown and even let her paint your face.

Lucas and Jack from next door came and so did Dominic from down the street. Plus a couple of other kids who where already in the park. I had set up the party so that all the kids in the park could attend. We had Pizza and cupcakes with whipped cream and apple juice, water, and yoo-hoo.

You received a couple gifts from different people but the biggest gift of all was from all the grand parents and us. A BIG swing set for the back yard. It has a slide and three swings and a playhouse on top with a sandbox under it. It is really big and takes up a good part of the yard. For now it is in the middle of the yard, one day when we get a pool we will have to move it, but for now it is great. It has taken quite awhile for Uncle Tommy and Gampa to set it up as of today it is still not done, but that is ok when it is done you will LOVE it.

On Easter Gamma and I took you to an Easter Egg Hunt. Again at first you where a little hesitant and it took you a little while to realize what the point was, plus there where A LOT of people there but after awhile you got it and loved it. They had a lot of actives’ for all the kids and you played all afternoon. Later on they had a ballet in a building near by and you loved it. The music they where dancing to was The Little Mermaid which you got for your birthday. We still have not watched it because of course you are still focused on Pictures of Hope.

You have been growing in leaps and bounds again and are talking like a mad woman, every day you say more and more and 90% of the time you try really hard to repeat everything we are saying. This means we have to be very careful not to curse. (Which is a good thing.) You are also VERY strong and try to climb everything. There is a new park near by and you climb the rock wall like a six year old. You have no fear in climbing and are constantly saying “I do it… I do it” the past two weeks you have become OBSESSED with my armpit and it is killing me, but I think this also means that you will so be becoming very independent and it freaks you out a little. You still have the night nights and are also obsessed with those as well. One day I will take them away and you will be SOOOO upset with me. HA but you can’t be 20 and still have a night night.

I am very excited about your school next year. It is still very far away but I think you are going to do great in school. It is odd to think that in a few short months you will be talking completely and will be able to tell me anything and everything you want. To think that only two short years ago you where in my belly and not able to do anything and now you are telling me what to do in your own Martian language and soon will be saying it in words that I will really understand. It is crazy to think that my beautiful little girl is just getting sooo big. When you are an adult you will realize that time flies and although I have not changed much at all in this time (besides losing all that baby weight thank god) you have changed in amazing ways and will keep changing for a very long time. Becoming a strong independent confident beautiful person who I can not imagine loving any more then I already do. You are amazing.

Today is your Birthday!

You are two years old today and although today we are not doing much besides preparing for tomorrow you woke up in a cranky mood.

We have all had colds for awhile now and I think we just keep infecting each other but none the less I am doping you up on cold meds so you are in better spirits.

I have lots to do today, tomorrow we are having a party for you in the park, I ordered balloons and we are having cupcakes and pizza, we are also getting a clown and I think about 30 people are coming plus all the people at the park…

It is an Elmo inspired birthday since you love Elmo and I think it will be a lot of fun for you since you love the park and you love Elmo we are getting you a very large swing set for you to play on for the back yard, we where going to wait until next year to get it but Chee Chee just had to get it for you now. So we are all chipping in and getting you the really nice expensive one. I think you are going to love it.

On another note, you are quickly learning potty training and now have gone several nights without peeing in your diaper we try to keep “big girl panties” on you for most of the day but you usually run around naked. We have not gotten to the stage where we go anywhere without a diaper on you but I think that will be soon. Unless you are super busy you hate the feel of the diaper on you so that is a good sign.

You went to the mall with me the other day to get your picture taken with the Easter Bunny, You LOVED him you where amazed by his feet and large ears and did not want to leave him. You are talking more and more I swear it is like you wake up and already know new words, every day you amaze me.