Well I have to tell you something and this will sound a bit odd or off and we will touch on it more as you get older but here goes. My whole entire life I have never even thought of my looks. What I mean is — and I am not being vain — I am being honest, I have ALWAYS been the pretty girl; ALWAYS the tall thin blonde with big real boobs and a super hot ass.

I used to be a dancer (something, again, we will discuss at a later time) and I made A LOT of money. In school I had no problems getting dates and am an expert flirt.

I love girls and guys and did not have a struggle with either. I guess I took this talent for granted and never really noticed or thought of what life would be with out this “gift” because, believe me, now I realize it truly is a gift.

I have never in my life been on a diet or exercised, and I ate what ever I wanted and up until recently I have not even thought about dieting or even gong on a scaile. I have always been a size 0 with a 34D natural chest.

Size 0 to Size 4/5 and Still Hot as Hell

But then age 27 hit and I gained a little weight now I am up to a size 4/5. Still very small and a lot of people said I looked much better with a little weight on me. I went now from 98 pounds to a wapping 115.

I have never really been an eater EVER I was never anorexic or bulimic or anything like that. I just never really enjoyed food that much. To me it was a major waste of time. I did not think about “oh if I eat this I will gain weight” because I never thought of my weight. Eating seemed like a waste of time and stupid I would often times forget to eat or eat once a day, food was just not that great.

Pregnancy Weight, Meet Isis; Isis, Meet Pregnancy Weight

AND THEN I GOT PREGNANT and WOW all of a sudden food was WONDERFUL. I could not get enough of it. I loved and lived for food.

My mom was shocked the first time I finished an ENTIRE sandwich and then I asked for more. I ate and ENTIRE BOX of mac and cheese and I ate 3 to 4 times a day. My doctor at my 6 month check up said OK now you gained the recommended 30 pounds you need to stop or you will regret it.
STOP? I said NO way in HELL was I going to give up wonderful FOOD now that I had finally found what everyone was talking about I was all GUNG HO on the idea. BBQ here I come. Pineapple I could not get enough.

From 98 Pounds to 190 Pounds in Nine Months

So, guess what? I grew and grew and grew and few and at your birth I weighed 190 pounds. CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?!?!

I weighed 10 pounds less then MY FATHER. And I am only 5’6. But I did not care. I am pregnant everyone kept telling me, it doesn’t matter, my husband kept saying.

You only weighed a 8 pounds 9 ounces and were very very healthy. Three weeks later, I lost 40 pounds from breast feeding. BOOM — GONE.

40 Pounds Down — 35 More to Go

I still had the extra 35 pounds to go. 35 pounds is not a lot when you type it out but when you are used to 115 it is a MOUNTAIN.

Now, all of a sudden, I was the chunky girl (or so I felt. OOPS FEEL now).

Fat, No One Flirts With Me

I lost my spark, no one flirts with me, I feel like no one looks at me and says ‘WOW I would love to see that girl naked!’. Now they just look at me and see a dumpy old mom (at 29 years old I might add).

I have started going to the gym. I go three to four times a week and have been going to two months now. Guess what? I AM STILL the exact same weight. WHAT THE HELL?

I feel like until I reach my goal weight I am an ugly screw which is really hard for me to deal with. If only I had realized how hot I was when I was thin. Now this is not some Oprah show were I am going to say WOE IS ME. No, no, I am just saying how hard it is and how much I realized I used my looks to make myself feel better.

What’s Inside Counts Until You’re Hideously Fat

I know it I what on the inside that counts but right now I feel like that is a load of crap. No one sees what is on the inside when you get promoted for showing a little skin. I KNOW for a fact that a lot of things in my life have gone BETTER because of my looks. Or because of that SPARK.

I just hope that I can get that back. And FAST.

• I am getting ready to change jobs and also look for a new Nanny for you.
• We have bought a piece of land in Ocala which will hopefully make your future brighter.
• We went to NY for Christmas and you where the best little girl ever.

What You Have Learned So Far

You are learning so much and growing so fast I wish that I could stay home and see you all the time. You where great on the plane and had no problems even though you are a very busy baby who wants to GO GO GO and loves a lot of attention. You learned ‘SOOO BIG’ and also grew two new teeth all at once. You now have two on the bottom and two on the top and, man, are they SHARP. You also leaned how to CLAP HANDS and are becoming an expert at PEEK-A-BOO.

Your Future College Fund

You received a lot of gifts from your family and lots of money. I am putting it all in your account and writing in your bank book to show you how much you are getting. You are gonna be a rich girl, I hope.

New York: If You Can Make It There…

You got to see snow for the first time and, although you where not impressed with it, we took a lot of pictures. Everyone loved you in NY and although we are starting all over with you sleeping in your own bed again you are perfect. I love that you are learning what we are saying and REALLY understanding us. And show it.

How Tall, How Big, How Wonderful

You went to the doctor when I got back. You now weigh 23 pounds and grew a whole inch taller. You are so big. You wear size 12-18 month clothes now even though you are only nine months old. I have a feeling you are going to be very tall. Which is great with us. You are also testing your boundaries and what you can and can’t do. It is so nice to see you interact with everyone you are really becoming a little person.

I am so excited about how you are developing and changing and how good you are. I might be eating my words in a couple of months or when you are two but that is ok. We will work it all out. I love you so much and so does all your family on both sides. You are the most wonderful girl in the WORLD.

The Trusted Organizer, Inc.

Finally, I started my own company called The Trusted Organizer, Inc. I am a freelance bookkeeper and personal organizer. I work my own hours and see you every day for most of the day. I spend a lot of time with you and am successful at my job. It is not stressful and exactly what I have always wanted to do. I am fortunate that I am able to do my job and see you so much. This gives your father and me a lot of time with you and it really shows through in your development and behavior.

You are VERY outgoing and loving.

You still say the same couple of words but you are now talking all of the time, none stop. You stand up on anything and then bounce up and down on your little legs you are too cute. You scream when you don’t get your way or when we pick you up from something dangerous. You just want to GO GO GO which you have wanted to do from the start it is too cute.

You are now on a much better sleeper you sleep through MOST nights and you take really good naps. All this crawling makes you extra tired.

You eat well too you always want what ever we are eating, and sometimes that is NOT a good thing. The other night we gave you some of Daddy’s famous sauce and you where sick all night. Sorry about that little one, you just enjoyed it so much. You are starting to get taller too I think and although you only have those two little teeth on the bottom I think the rest will come in soon.

You are such a joy and I know I have said it a million times but I will say it again. I am so happy to have you in my life.

First Thanksgiving for Hope

This was your first Thanksgiving and you did really well. You are eating our table scraps more and more and you fed yourself so that was nice.

You are just about ready to crawl and you get really mad and start climbing on stuff. You can pull yourself up onto things but once you get up there then you get scared and sit back down. You are doing this very funny SCREAM. AH AH AH AAAAHHHH. You yell at the top of your lungs it is very funny.

We took Mock up Christmas card pictures of you you look very cute. We are working on the best one to send out. You also went to butterfly garden when we went up to Gainesville to see Chee Chee. You liked it but were much more interested in walking. You walk all over the place when we hold your hands.

Baby’s First Shoes: Stride Rite

I also bought you shoes. I had bought you shoes the other day but they were way too small so we went to the Stride Rite store and bought you correct shoes. WOW, are they expensive! It was $66.00 for two pairs of baby shoes. I thought was a little much but these are supposed to be the best and my little one only gets the best.

We bought you a Christmas dress too (well a couple of them) are you going to be so cute when you go to NY. I am getting excited about showing you off to all your NY family. You also have become VERY attached to me. If I leave the room you start crying I hope you get over this and are not scared of people. Please realize I would never leave you with someone I did not trust. But I think now you are just getting to realize who I am and who daddy is and everyone else is crazy.

Joseph finally sold the Pizzerias and now is not working, which is good in a way he really does need a break he will start work again after the holidays. He gets to spend a lot of time with you and I think that is really good.

Back to the Pre-Baby Routine

This weekend we went out to breakfast. Something we used to do every Saturday before you were born and now that you are getting a little older we will start doing more.

You did really well and have I mentioned you are a wonderful girl. Then we bought you shoes. You hate them but are slowly getting used to them. You kept stubbing your toes while you where in the walker and they were bleeding. You did not seem to mind but we sure did so now you can’t hurt yourself.

Suck it, Northerners: We’re at Beach in November

It got really cold this morning and I put on warm clothes for you. You are so cute in your little jacket. We went to the beach after we bought you the shoes as a spur of the moment thing. At first you were a little nervous but then you really liked it. And Anthony went into the water and was swimming around you and I where walking back and forth and letting the water splash our feet. Then a HUGE wave came and got us soaking wet, you even went under the water and I was so scared, but you looked at me when we came out and where like “hey what happened mom” I was so nervous but you seemed fine.

Jacuzzi Too Hot for for Baby

When you are in the bathtub I splash you with the water all the time and I guess it works because you where just fine after that big splash. You love the water and I am so glad. I want to stick you in the Jacuzzi but I think it is too hot. I am going to get you a little pool when it gets a little warmer.

You are such a good girl. Everyone thinks so too. They always tell me how wonderful you are and that you are always happy. Very active though ha we will just have to keep you busy.

Hope: Happiest Baby Ever

I am so happy you are such a happy baby.

You get mad, too, at stuff and that is even cuter. You start waving your arms at everything but especially when you are mad. You have this look of COME ON ALREADY.

You wake up with this big smile and start poking us and playing with my lips you try to open my eyes and you laugh at your dad the most. Every time you see him you get all shy and peak at him and then start to laugh and jump up and down. You like it when he plays rough with you and throws you up in the air. You are too cute.

Pizza Crust and Bananas

Eating is getting fun. You love pizza crust and your favorite is banana. You can eat a whole banana with no problems. It is funny when I give you something that you do not like you just WILL NOT open your mouth and you look away and you just hate it and won’t look at me. But then when I give you something you like you eat and eat and eat.

Baby Massage Class

I took a baby massage class with you and you where a crazy woman you you where way to interested in crawling all over the place (or I should say scooting you do not crawl yet) you where looking at all the other babies and jumping up and down and all around to do stuff.

Everyone at the place LOVED you and you where so sweet. I learned how to do the massage and sometimes when you are super tired you let me do it but most of the time you are just WAY too busy. HA!

We bought you this walker thing and I was so worried about buying it for you because I had heard such bad things about it but we just keep it in the living room and you love it. You walk yourself all over the place you grab stuff and just are amazing. You are everywhere. You walk backwards and forwards. It only took you like 20 minutes to figure it out you don’t even really get stuck.

Hope: Smartest Baby Ever

You are so smart. You are I think the smartest and cutest and most loved kid in the whole entire universe. We are so happy to be your mom and dad.

OH OH yea! You say ‘UP UP UP UP UP UP’ when you want to get up . Can you believe that you at seven month old know exactly what you want and it is UP or GO but you have not said that one yet.

Another Hurricane in Palm Beach Gardens

OH yea we had another hurricane and you and I went to Chee Chee’s for the first time. You did very well there and everyone loved you. It was colder there so you got to wear all your warm outfits. It took us a long time to get there but it was worth it in the end.

Hope: Yeastiest Baby Ever

You also developed thrush which is a type of yeast infection in your mouth. We have been working to get rid of it and if it is not all the way gone soon I am taking you to the doctor. I had a bad diaper rash. The first one you have ever gotten but we worked real hard on it and it went away. Thank goodness. You sleep in your crib most nights but in the morning you still come in to sleep with daddy and me. Which, I have a feeling, like me and my mom you will do even when you are 30.

Pizzeria Sold: Daddy Home Much More

We also sold the Pizzeria so daddy will be home a lot more and will be able to spend a lot of time with you! We are so happy that we can do that with you and we hope it stays like this forever.

You have graduated to a big girl car seat and although it faces the other way until you are one you still seem much more comfortable. And you enjoy the car seat much more.

Hope: Best Soon-To-Be-Teeth Ever

Hey… I felt your first tooth coming in at lunch today. It is the bottom right and I also felt a little of the top right too but I think the bottom will come in first. My little girl is getting so big. So far teething is not that bad. You have only been cranky maybe five times in your whole life so far but I am sure there will be more days to come.

Last weekend you got your ears pierced again. They look much better. You look beautiful with the little diamonds in your ears. I got my ear pierced also and we have matching earrings now.

You did well although you are totally a mama’s girl. Ximena was holding you and you were not happy about that. You kept asking for me. But, once it was all over and I was holding you, you where much calmer.

You got to see all three grandmas this week. Ximena stayed until Saturday morning then grandma came by to see you. Then, on Sunday, Mema came with Nanny. Nanny gave you a beautiful pair of diamond earrings they are so nice. I will give them to you when you are much older.

My Little Jumping Bean

You have been a little jumping bean lately. You always want to stand and jump up and down and you giggle and scream all the time you are so cute. Your hair is growing in nicely. I think it is going to be very curly I don’t know what I am going to do with it.

You sleep in your own bed but now that you do that I miss sleeping with you so sometimes while you are asleep I get you out of the crib and bring you into bed with me anyway. HA I love to snuggle with you.

On Friday you fell off the ottoman. I turned for a second and you fell face first off of it. You screamed like a crazy woman and where so mad that you had fallen.

I felt really bad and held you for a long time. Within five minutes it was like nothing happened. You where smiles and giggles. But this was the first time you had fallen and I thought ‘wow, six months old and this is the first time you have fallen I am doing pretty good at this’.

You have never had diaper rash and never been sick. So, not so bad. Then on Saturday you felt good in the morning but by 10:30 you were not feeling so hot. You only wanted me. You were screaming your head of and holding me and freaking out.

I just thought you were being mad because I was trying to put you down so that I could take a shower. Then, after myself freaking out, and you still not calming down, I realized that you were totally not feeling well.

Teething in No Fun for Mommy or Baby Girl

You were teething really badly and I had to hold you all day long. Daddy woke up around 2:30 and tried to hold you but you kept reaching for me and saying MAMAMAMAMAMAMA MMMMAAAAA MMMMAAAAA. It was so sweet and I felt so bad that you where feeling so bad. I hope this teething thing does not last very long.

On Sunday you were feeling much better, after sleeping all day and night Saturday you where fine and we went shopping and you where perfect. Today you did not feel good again and Malia called to tell me that you were not good. I rushed home but I think you were just faking it.

HA! At six months old you already know how to get everything you want.

You don’t get a meal out of it; it is just something you like to do.

You eat baby food all the time and formula more then my milk and I don’t think I am producing enough to even feed you. I am debating what to do.

Snuggle Bug and Daddy Duck Time

You are such a snuggle bug. And you LOVE your daddy. Every Saturday and Sunday morning the two of you go for a walk to see the ducks and I sleep in. It is a nice bonding thing for the two of you and since you like the walks and he so loves being with you. Gosh, Hope, you are amazing.