As soon as I met her I wanted to crawl up beside her and snuggle with her. She is much older then me; most likely more like my mom’s age and she has a very neat tattoo on her arm. She is a photographer and great at it. Her art work is amazing. She told me a little about her life and her relationships.

Whatever Your Sexual Orientation, I Still Love You

If you are a lesbian when you grow up little Allana we will have lots to talk about because I don’t think it ever has to be as hard as everyone seems to make it. The amount of depression and non acceptance is terrible. The fact that most of her family shuns her simply because of something she feels is terrible.

Follow your Heart Wherever It Takes You

I think you should always follow your heart and what you are happy with. I think that your heart should never have limitations or boundaries and if loving someone of the same sex or opposite sex or whatever sex is what you are in love with I would NEVER EVER shun you or chastise you for it. EVER!

I learned a lot from this woman and a little bit of me wanted to jump in her arms and tell you “it’s ok I believe and respect and honor and cherish every part of you” but of course I did not. She would have though me nut after such a short time talking.

Baby’s First Bank Account

I opened a bank account for you and I explained to everyone I knew and knew you that instead of toys or gifts of any kind that it would benefit you more if they put money into your bank account.

I also have bank sheet that I keep that I keep track of what was deposited and from who and when and why. When you are much older this money will grow and you will have it to fall back on.

Maturity Comes Around 28: Still Stupid at 18

You are not getting it until you are around 28. The reason is because when you are 18 you would spend it on something stupid I am sure when you are 21 you are still in that mind set of shoes and partying.

By the time you are around 28 hopefully you will have been partied out, you will have your career going and you will want to purchase a house and settle down. All this money could help you out a lot and I hope that it keeps growing and getting larger. I know that whenever I have extra money it is going to go into that account and when daddy has extra money it will go in there as well.

Learning Spanish Thanks to Malia

Also I have to say that you learned new words today Since Malia is Spanish and speaks Spanish to you of course you also speak Spanish.

One of your first words was comer. I am sure I spelled this wrong but you kept saying it to me over and over again I had no idea what it meant. The next day Malia came in and I said what is that comer what does that mean? She said oh oh, para comer means TO EAT. Poor thing was hungry and I had no idea!

Stiffed: $600 — They Never Communicate with Each Other

They owe me $600.00. I knew it was coming I should have treated them like “Wacko Dentist” but I did not think they were crazy.

I kept telling them over and over again that hey were mismanaging there money. They had A LOT of overdraft charges because they were not communicating with me. Through all of it, they were very nice and just thought it would all work out but I saw the end.

I ran into the wife in the grocery store and she was practically crying all over the place when I saw her. She kept apologizing saying that she now had to pull her kids out of school that her husband would not get out of bed. I felt bad for her but not bad enough to excuse the bill.

STOP SPENDING MONEY — Read the Signs

I told her she could pay me $20.00 per week if she wanted as long as she worked on paying me back. I found out that she screwed the guy that was doing her Kitchen out of thousands of dollars and that made me feel even less pitty for her.

She knew this was coming and yet they all kept doing it and spending money like there was not issue. People who do not learn from LARGE warning signs and people spelling it out for them do not really get my pity. I can totally understand if you were not aware or did not get proper support but I told them months ago STOP SPENDING MONEY. Their kids were spoiled beyond belief.

Pay Attention, Hope: Here is a Lesson for You

Honey I am going to give you an education before I give you a new doll on the shelf. I am not going to show you love by gifts but by hard work on your part and mine.

I do not (or I try very hard not to) sweep issues under the rug thinking they will go away, especially with money. Everyone is in a small sense in denial for a little while but then it is time to wake up and realize what you have to do.

My mom taught me that from the start and I hope that I will be able to teach you that as well.

I know how hard being eight is. I remember I felt like I was going insane. And no one understood me. I remember sassing back to my mom and being rude and throwing temper tantrums and freaking out over the smallest thing.

I remember thinking my mom was torturing me by not letting me have what I wanted or by telling me to do certain things that I did not want to do. I remember the struggle that my mom and I had at eight and also as a teenager.

I know and am preparing myself in having to deal with these types of issues with you. I know it will be hard and I know I will yell at you and you will think I am torturing you.

Not The Only One With These Feelings

I know you will think that you are the ONLY ONE our there feeling like you do. And this is very normal.

I hope you are a writer so that you can write all those feelings down. So later on you can look at them and realize how important they where at the time but how trivial they are now that you are older.

I have notebooks filled with random thoughts and turmoil. One day I will give them to you so you can realize we all go through these torturous times. It is all a part of becoming the person you are now.

I am not allergic to anything in this world as of now not even poison ivy. But I AM allergic to Vodka. Well when I drink Vodka I black out and I would suggest that you NEVER drink Vodka.

Depending on when you read this letter will depend on what I tell you next. But please learn from my mistakes and do not drink. I am sure I will have many conversations about this issue with you later in life but for now in black and white I am saying this to you: Please learn a few things from others and know not to drink or do drugs.

Temptation is the Worst Evil to Face

Temptation is the worst of all the evil things you will come across in your life and if you can resist that you can resist anything. You will be a stronger person if you learn to resist temptation, a feat very very few people can ever master.

Heartburn, Yes. Morning Sickness, No.

I have also noticed just these past 2 nights and days that I have been getting heartburn which is terrible. I constantly feel like I am going to throw up. I guess this is making up for the fact that I did not have morning sickness. HA thanks! Tums have become my best friend.

Well, besides that yesterday your Uncle Tommy moved in with us.

Tommy is young and this is his first time being away from his family. I am not sure how I feel about all of this. I like my time alone with Joseph and I hate having roommates. And, technically, that is what he is.

I’m a Loner But for a Select Few

You will notice through your life that your mother is more of a loner likes to spend time by herself or with a very select few people and your father like to spend time with large groups of people and have a large amount of family and friends around him.

I hope you are somewhat in the middle of us. So you are not paranoid and annoyed like your mother or too freeing and open like your father when it comes to company and people coming over to your house. I somewhat see Tommy as an intruder and a unwelcomed permanent guest. Your father sees him as family of course and does not see how he could ever be interrupting our lives, no matter how much space we have or do not have.

You Better Never Smoke Cigarettes

Tommy smokes cigarettes and I despise cigarettes smoke more then anything. You better never smoke because it will do nothing but cause problems between us. There is absolutely no benefit to it what so ever and I hope that by the time you read this they will be as uncool as anything and it would never cross your mind to smoke.

What I Do for a Living: Boat Lights

I forgot to tell you what your father and I do for a living.

Although this is not that important you might wonder when you get older. I work for a company that sells marine boat lighting.

It is a boring job and I hate working but you will soon learn fast that most work is boring. I hope you find a career that is exciting and not monotonous. I have only worked here since January of this year. Before this job I had MANY other jobs all boring and all not worth mentioning.

Your Dad Owns Two Pizzarias

Your father, since the first day I met him, wanted to open a Pizzeria. He now owes two of them and they are both pretty successful.

He has a partner who wants to get out of the business. We will see what happens. I hate to see your fathers dream go down just because of his partner, but I think he is accepting it.

Your Daddy is a Great Provider

Your father works VERY VERY VERY hard and is a great provider. I hardly ever see him and that tends to be a little hard on our relationship. But soon I will have YOU and you will always be with me. I am so excited to have a child who I can put lots of energy and love into.

I hope to teach you well and for us to always have a great relationship.